I just got pranked harder than I’ve ever been pranked. Ever.

I got pranked so hard this morning. My g/f, Sara, sends me this photo, says she received it last night, demanding to know who this woman is, and freaking the fuck out. (A) I was alone last night, (B) I'm not a cheater, and (C) I don't even recognize the woman. So I'm in full-on … Continue reading I just got pranked harder than I’ve ever been pranked. Ever.

Post-Prom Shows: Never again (a break-up letter)

I am sooooo done entertaining at post-prom parties. The students are cool, but I'm sick of dealing with the occasional hyper-P.C.-parents who are in denial and think their teens need to be sheltered from innuendo, humor, and LIFE. I talk to the students like they're real people because - guess what? - they are. Your teens have … Continue reading Post-Prom Shows: Never again (a break-up letter)

I just signed a contract with SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!!!

And it's a GREAT deal.All I have to do... is stop calling every day, begging to be on television.And they, in return... will drop the harassment charges.... ... ...Yeah, it was just a joke.  ;)  But I totally get a +1 Internets for making you click.

Help me name my new dove

After I had to fire the other dove for his bad attitude (details here), I've moved on... I've been chatting with THIS little guy, and we're working on a pretty decent act for the show. He's going to (A) magically appear, and then (B) read someone's mind. Might put him in the show as early … Continue reading Help me name my new dove

Fearing for my safety due to a disgruntled ex-employee

It is with great regret that I announce the discontinuation of Birdie's employment in the show. I had no choice but to fire him. He has had a very poor attitude as of late, which created a hostile work environment. Granted, I did accidentally crush his favorite cage, but I apologized and offered to buy … Continue reading Fearing for my safety due to a disgruntled ex-employee