Let's all celebrate Columbus Day by walking into other peoples' houses and telling them that WE live there now.
Tag: des moines magician
Fun Fact: The human body has approximately 16 to 20 square feet of skin That's enough for like 8 to 10 decent wallets, ya know.
I don't understand. They say, "If you love something, set it free." But then they ALSO say, "Mr. Allen, please put your pants back on." I'm confused.
A friend called me, and I could tell right away that he was distressed; something was clearly troubling this man. After asking him repeatedly what was wrong, he finally shared what was weighing so heavily on his mind: "Well… If vegetable oil comes from squishing vegetables, corn oil comes from squishing corn, and olive oil … Continue reading Stoners ask interesting questions
Well... This would have been nice to know... Like, oh, I dunno, maybe sometime BEFORE I WAS STANDING RIGHT FUCKING THERE. Guess I should stop licking this wall, eh?
Kid: “Mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?” Mom: “Shut the hell up, or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor, too."
NEW HAMPTON, IOWA – Part magician, part comedian, and totally dysfunctional, Nathan Allen will be bringing his highly-caffeinated blend of magic and comedy to New Hampton, Iowa! Allen (dubbed “The Maniac of Magic” by his peers) will be making a stop at Big Ed’s Firehouse (680 W. Milwaukee St.) on Saturday, October 20th. The adult-only … Continue reading A couple of weirdos to visit New Hampton
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
I bought a Happy Meal. I got some "Hotel Transylvania" chattering vampire teeth for the toy. I had to convince the McDonald's lady that my daughter really wanted that particular toy. I don't have a daughter. But I do have chattering vampire teeth. I'm so happy.
On Saturday, I'm going to be in Marshalltown, performing at TC's Pub. I've been there before. Cool people. I was just chatting with the owner, and he let me know that he now owns the property at 207 East Main Street in Marshalltown, Iowa. This excited me greatly. Here is why: There was a world-famous … Continue reading I’m going to piss where Houdini pissed